Half Cooked

I have a lot of half finished posts in my head, but I can’t seem to get them out through my fingers.  I feel lazy and tired and lethargic, so I’ve done very little other than what I need to at home for Rob & Kitten, and read.  If you check out my Read in 2008 page, you can see what I’ve been reading.  In short, far too many paranormal romances starring vampires.  Truly, I think I have reached brain cavity stage.  As in, my brain has rotted away from all of the lack of substance. 

That said, I have only a few things to say about the books. 

1.  Dear Fledgling paranormal romance author, STOP TELLING AND START SHOWING.  I don’t need to you tell me that your vampire isn’t grody and doesn’t drink from humans.  You can let her pop the top on her synthetic blood and let it speak for itself.  Also:  I don’t want your vampire to try to sound all cheeky and perky.  Either make her cheeky and perky, or don’t – but don’t make it sound like she’s trying.  If that makes any sense.  Your stories were good.  In fact, I might even look for more, but so help me if your character keeps with the TELLING and not SHOWING, I will break up with you.  Love, Kait. 

2.  Dear semi-established paranormal romance author, You have two very good books, and it looks like you have a third on the way.  They are great.  However, if you EVER, EVER refer to all the other paranormal romance author’s out there by name and book, we will break up.  You don’t need to use other author’s names and book titles to make people like your book.  Truly, it was good enough without the name dropping laundry list.  It looks like you’re not sure that people will like you, so you have to say “hey, do you like all these people?  LIKE ME TOO!  LIKE ME TOO!”  It’s unneccesary, stop it. 

3.  Stephanie Rowe can do no wrong.  Whether it’s her paranormal romance stuff, or just every day stuff, it is ALL GOOD. 

4.  I think that MaryJanice Davidson’s saving grace (for me) has been her books about Fred the Mermaid (Swimming with the Fishes and Swimming Without a Net).  I started with Betsy, but honestly?  SO TIRED.  Fred has a really different attitude/voice, and I love these books. 

5.  I finished Stephanie Meyer’s New Moon.  It was good.  I’m torn between demanding the third book RIGHT NOW, and never picking up the rest of the series.  I can’t see anything good happening in the next book (from the ending of the second), and I’m afraid that Jacob is going to end up completely broken.  This bothers me because he’s my favourite character (without a doubt – I wish she’s leave Edward and just be happy with Jacob).  On the other hand, I can’t just leave the series.  As we all know by my reading The Harlequin by LKH – even if the quality isn’t there, I probably will continue reading the books.  Quality definitely isn’t the issue with Meyer’s books.  They’re very high quality, but maybe if I’m so invested in a book that I would rather skip dinner with my family to read?  Maybe that isn’t so good.  Darn you, Bella and Edward – you’re like crack.

6.  Also:  The Harlequin.  If you’ve read the past few LKH books, this is much of the same.  Anita’s angst, badly written sex scenes (Oh, seriously.  SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE), danger comes, Anita gets a fancy new power that vanquishes the dark yet again, more angst and THE END.  I should stop buying these.  They’re such a waste of money.  What is wrong with me?  ::sigh::  I promise, I won’t buy any more.  Anyone want to buy the complete Anita Blake mass market series in perfect condition?  I suppose that there are hardcore Anita fans out there.  Otherwise (I would think) the books would stop being published, but dude.  I have so many other books on the shelf that don’t involve stupid and impossible sex scenes, redundent language, and the same tried and tried plot formula that I really don’t need to waste my time on these ones.  I suppose that if I’m truly curious, I could just get the next book out of the library.  But right now?  Not even curious at all.  That said, I will praise LKH for not using the phrase “like so much meat” even once in the latest book.  Go you, LKH. 

So maybe tomorrow, or the day after you can hear about how much I hate that new Kate Perry song, or how Kitten has a tooth (!) and seems to be going on 14 (the horra!).  Or how I hate it when it rains all day, and possibly I will write soon about my garden and the AWESOME peas that I have grown.  And I might, if you’re lucky, take some pictures of The Kid, and The Garden, so you can share in our joy. 

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