Full Blown Panic Attack? CHECK!

(Please excuse this post: It’s disjointed and I can’t think well enough to fix it)

It is hot hot hot here today.  And hot weather always brings up thoughts of severe storms.  Severe storms that send me flying into a panic and tears.  I’m home alone today with Kitten, and it’s really hot, and I’m really worried.  I’m worried that we’re going to have a tornado, and I’m going to have to be responsible for our safety.  This thought sends me into a nearly full blown panic attack (although I’ve managed to come back from the edge TWICE today already – it’s only 1 pm). 

I thought that maybe being set up downstairs would make me feel better, but honestly, I feel like I’ve just told the cosmos “hey!    Bring it on!”.  I’ve took water bottles, snacks, diapers and wipes, toys, blankets, a flashlight, phones (cell and landline – although I’m sure that if the worst was to happen that neither would work), a bucket, toilet paper, a soother and pillows down there, just in case.  I don’t have cat litter down there, but hopefully the cats pooping on the concrete will not be something that we have to worry about.  So I think that I’m prepared as I can be. 

There haven’t been any weather bulletain’s issued for our area yet, and I can hear the birds outside having a wonderful time (actually, giving my neighbour hell for sanding his deck), so I know that nothing is happening right now… but every time a truck starts, or a plane flies over head… I just about pee myself.  It probably doesn’t help that I had a terrible tornado dream last night. 

I just don’t want to be home alone today.  I hope my neighbour comes home soon.

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