Dear Fat Head,
My sister kindly took me to the hockey game tonight, and why she’s so generous and stuff, I’ll never know, but it was fantastic. I’m sure that you were also annoyed by the 2 rows full of kids behind us who managed to scream girly screams all night, and you know as well as I that those were shrill, skull piercing screams that make your eye twitch. But we managed, didn’t we, Mr. Fat Head.
See? I had a pretty good time at the hockey game, but I have one little bone to pick with you. See? You have a very big head. And for some reason, we were so well matched in height that every time you sat in front of me, you managed to block my entire view of the net. I’m sure that for someone taller than I, sitting behind you would have been no big deal. But alas, I am not taller. Grrr. I could lean around you and see, so that is what I did, and sadly that caused a terribly sore neck, that I am sure will throw off my bowling game tomorrow. I suppose that won’t really be your fault, I’m a terrible bowler as it is. However, I will blame it on you because there is nothing you can do about it.
I do have to thank you, though, for not sitting in front of me for the whole game, just the third period. I also truly appreciate it that you sat down while all of your beer guzzling friends stood through the replay of the last goal. That was sweet of you, allowing me a view to the jumbotron.
I know that you really can’t help the size of your head, but maybe next time you could slouch in your chair, just a little bit. That would have been fantastic.