Kitten Tails

Well, Kitten?  You are getting very old.  I’ve been doing this now for 26 weeks, and let me tell you – I still love it!  I hope that this happy feeling is the feeling that I remember for a long time.  I would like to look back and think that I loved being pregnant.

For the most part, I do love it.  I’ve not been sick, I haven’t had problems with my digestions (save for the heartburn), and I’ve felt pretty stable emotionally.  My favourite parts of the day are when I can feel you moving around and being all squigly.  Only, I hate it when you do this when I’m trying to sleep.  It’s amazing how conflicted I can feel – I’m all “yay!  She’s alive!  She’s growing” and at the same time I’m thinking “Can you just lay still so I can sleep?  Gah!”  In the end, my sense of wonder and awe wins over, and I just lay there, content to feel you move around.  Even if I miss an extra hour of sleep because you are so incredibly active, that’s ok.  You’re active!  It means that you’re alive, that you’re doing well, and that I obviously ate something that you enjoyed! 😉

This past week, when my ankles were all swollen and I was all worried about you… I felt so afraid of what was happening.  I didn’t think that I’d lose you, not really… but I was worried that something bad would happen.  I understand that worry is part of a mother’s job (to a point), but I can’t say as I enjoy that part.  I can’t describe how comforting listening to your heart beat through a monitor is.  I have seen at-home heart monitors online and in the maternity stores, and I always made fun of them in my head a little bit.  But after this week?  I can understand the allure and attraction to them.  I feel most peaceful when I can listen to your heart.  I’m sorry – I am going to be that mama who sits in her baby’s room just to hear the baby breathe!

I’ve started to walk a little more regularly, as the doctor recommended it after I had the swelling episode (walking, drinking more water, eating less salt – all those not-so-fun things).  Your dad and I found the most beautiful home while we were out walking a few days ago.  It was a gorgeous, huge house that could house three cats, three kids and us.  Unfortunately, we just can’t afford it, and we think that we’ll be happy in our house where it may be small, but at least we’ll all see each other every day! 😆

Walking has started to put some pressure on my sciatic nerve, so if you could try to not aggravate that any more, I would really appreciate it! 😛  Yeah, I know, good luck!

Your dad and I have some casual friends from our old church who have a baby who’s about 6 months old.  He was born prematurely, and she had such a hard time with her pregnancy.  He has been diagnosis of Cystic Fibrosis, and Kitten – that has me worried.  I know that whatever happens that they will be ok.  That the baby will live for a time, and might even reach 40 years old.  The thing is?  Our friends didn’t know that they are BOTH carriers of the disease.  Of course that causes a small worry in my head – we don’t know if we are carriers.  I guess it’s not good to live paralyzed by fear, but there are so many things that can go wrong these days (or at least it seems like it).  I love you so much already, I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through something like this family is having to deal with.

On a lighter note, we’re going to get to meet you soon!  Less than 100 days until you’re expected to arrive.  Don’t worry about the pressure – I’m not expecting you to be on time at all!  🙂  You have come from a long line of late babies (on my side), and while your father’s side tends to have them early, it’s more to do with their physiology than with the babies themselves.  I have a lot of hopes for your delivery and labour, and I have really no idea how it will go.  I’m sure I’ll learn more as the date comes closer.  I’m looking forward very much to meeting you and dressing you in all the cute clothes that we have picked up over the past two weeks.  You’re going to be so beautiful.  We’re counting down the days!