Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey

Hi Baby!  Happy birthday (um… conception day?)!  I’m officially 16 weeks pregnant, which makes you officially 14 weeks old!  You are getting so big – you’re 4 1/2″ long from head to bum (they don’t count your legs because they’re all curled up), and you weigh about 3.5 oz (which is pretty close to the size of a nice peach, I think!).  I know you’re getting bigger because my belly is expanding pretty rapidly, and it’s getting hard.  I can tell that my muscles are in different places on my belly and have stretched nice and long.

I can also tell that you’re getting bigger because I’ve felt you moving a little bit.  You like to kick the left side of my uterus, and at first it was hard to tell if it was you or if it was gas or a muscle twitching.  This, what you’re doing now, is called quickening, and I’m not sure why they call it that – you’re not very quick about it… you keep it up for minutes at a time!  Two days ago, you must have changed positions because you were (unkindly) kicking me in my cervix-area, which was the most unpleasant feeling!  Anyway, it’s been pretty fun, and while I am very exciting to feel your stronger movements, it kind scares me! 🙂  When we were at the doctors office last week, we couldn’t hear your heartbeat, but we sure could hear you moving around!  You’re very active, and I think that the dopplar device bothers you because you just won’t stay in one place!

Your circulatory system and your urinary tract are now fully developed.  I’m not sure when, but soon you’re going to start peeing on yourself!  Ha ha ha!  Um, I mean, yeah.  Way to develop.  I’m also pretty sure that your gender has been decided and you are growing all your parts, but we just can’t see them well enough yet.  It’s been funny – all along I’ve been calling you a “her”, like I was so certain that you are a girl.  But this past week?  I’ve been referring to you as a boy!  I’m sure it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with these crazy hormones, but there you go.  We get to finally see you in March, and I really really hope that you aren’t all curled up so we can find out if you are a girl or a boy.  Not that it really matters, I just (selfishly) want to know.

My sleeping patterns have changed, and your dad and I have even changed sides of the bed!  This way I’m closer to the bathroom, and for some reason, it’s just more comfortable.  The kitties are still sleeping on my old side of the bed, so I think I sleep better because they’re not on my legs all the time.  I’m going to have to invest in one of those wedge pillows soon, and maybe a peanut one for my knees, but for the most part I can still sleep on my belly.  I know that won’t last long, and I’m sorry if I squish you!

Your ears are almost fully developed, so I apologize to all the screeching you have to listen to.  It’s just me, trying to sing along to Evanescence.  Yeah, I am aware that I’m just not as good as her, but I really like to sing along in the car.  You must hear all sorts of music in there, my tastes are pretty varied.  There are a couple of band that you will hear a lot of once you’re born, and a few that you won’t hear any more (got to protect you a wee bit!).   I really hope that you grow up with a love of music, as you will constantly be surrounded by it.  I’m going to have so much fun teaching you to sing songs like “I wanna be sedated” or “bad reputation”.  I’m also going to teach you good songs like “Jesus loves me”, but it’ll be funnier when you sing the Ramones or the Clash.  I’m hoping that I get to go to Switchfoot later this month, so if there’s a night that I won’t let you sleep because it’s soooo loud, it’s just a really great band that both your dad and I really like.  You’ll probably recognize some of it once you’re born!  I haven’t spent a lot of time talking to you yet – it makes me uncomfortable.  I figure that you’ll get used to my voice as I talk to other people and “sing” in the car.  I wonder what I sound like, through all that body tissue and liquid and stuff.

Anyway, I hope that you’re doing ok in there.  I’m trying to take good care of you, but some days I think I’m a pretty bad mom (already).  I guess there’s a strong fear of failure in me, so I’m already worried about not being good enough for you.  I know that there isn’t too much that I can do wrong at this point, but I still worry that I might do something that hurts you forever.  I’m still pretty selfish sometimes, and I know that has to change.  It’s a slow process, and I work at it.  It’s just more of a struggle than I really thought it would be.

So yeah.  Happy Conception-day, kiddo.