Worries

Today, I made the mistake of going to babycenter.com. I looked at all sorts of helpful things, then I started looking at fertility statistics. What on earth was I thinking. Did you know that the likelihood of getting knocked up between 20-24 is 96%? And that it’s reduced to 78% for those between 25 and 29? CRAP! I’m not terribly worried, but it bothers me, that ever day, I’m pretty much getting less fertile.

I worry and fuss over whether this is going to happen for us, even though we haven’t “officially” started trying yet (in regards to my monthly cycle, anyway). I am not sure why I’m obsessing so much over this. I know it’s what I do – obsess.

I had a good cry-fest over our new car today… that we don’t even own. They don’t have it in the Aqua Silver colour I want, or at least they don’t have it in the city. Rob’s dad (who is heavily involved in this) won’t take us to see his friend (who’s giving us a deal) until next week, so there’s going to be even LESS of a chance of getting the colour that I might be able to stand the longer we wait. I’m so frustrated, and I feel like the joy of buying a new car has been taken away from me. It’s like Bob just assumes that because I am a girl that I don’t care about the car. Maybe my MIL never did, but you better believe that BOTH Rob and my names are going to be going on that bill of sale! I feel like our choice, and our decision about this has been taken away and that Bob is running the show. All of you who know me know that I HATE being out of control, and I feel out of control about this car thing.

I’m pretty down in the dumps today. I’m not sure why. I know that I’m not sleeping very well, but I’ve been trying to eat good to kind of make up for it. I haven’t been too good with the exercise thing this week, as I was out of town on Monday (when we got into town, they were closed), Tuesday night was Mary Kay night, Wednesday we went and saw the guy about the car, and tonight I went to the gym. I was going to do my yoga class, but I forgot my yoga mat at home. GRRR!!!! I did some cardio, though, and went to Walmart to pick up supplies for our poster board for church.

I’m a little frustrated with Mary Kay. I’m having a really hard time finding people to hold skin care classes. I know that I can book facials, and that’s fine… but… I don’t know. I just wanted more, you know?

I should probably just go to bed.

]]>

Advertisements